Coffee Cup Memos

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:27-33 ESV

Life is full of disruptions, many of which are hardships and trials. We can get hit hard with illnesses, financial troubles, and accidents; sometimes we are victims of someone else’s wrongdoing. Jesus reminded us that we will go through rough seasons, but he also tells us not to be anxious. Really? How does anyone do that?

We are wired with emotions, and they amplify hurt, worry, and anxiety to levels where our perception of time painfully slows down. When will all this trouble be done, and what can I do to make things better?

There is an urgency within me that wants to take control and come up with a plan to make things better. I hate delays. Waiting is not what I do well because I like to take immediate action and get results now. Once I get going, I tend to overthink possible setbacks and figure out ways to overcome them — it’s my version of what Jesus calls toiling and spinning.

“Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”

None of us can. If I were to rephrase this question for me, it would be split in two: Do you believe what you are doing now is making things better? If no, then why are you doing it?

Anxiety makes me focus on the wrong things: emotions and assumptions. Instead of pausing to evaluate information and taking time to gather more facts, I zone in on reacting to the here and now. I want these uneasy feelings to go away, and the only way I can process them is to do something — it becomes an unending cycle that lays more bricks of despair on my shoulders. This is not how Jesus wants me to be; it’s not healthy.

When I focus on all the wrong issues, particularly the bad stuff, I am training myself to see things only through that lens. How on earth did I suddenly become a pessimist? I inadvertently enrolled in the school of Stinking Thinking. I didn’t sign up for this! I wish someone would just expel me because I’ve reduced my ability to recognize anything good. I’m also overlooking God’s hand in action.

There are a lot of things that are out of my control, God-size problems not meant for me to solve on my own — that’s a truth that I need to settle into. I get there by first identifying the issues that are bothering me. Then I pray by confessing everything I am feeling about them.

Father, this is what I’m dealing with…

Will you please help me?

Pause…breathe…then embrace the relief.

Now I can begin putting my worries and problems in their place. I am free to focus on God and his righteousness by going on a scavenger hunt and collecting all of his promises found in Scripture. I can also relive all the miracles that Jesus performed, learn from his teachings, and absorb the nature of his character: patience, kindness, and compassion. Inserting myself in the company of friends is a great strategy, too; they remind me that I am not alone and help me reframe my thoughts by listening, praying, and offering me helpful resources.

Counting my blessings is another good way to remember how God carried me through tough times. There are occasions when he requires me to grow and mature a little more before answering my prayer. In a season of waiting and growing, he guides me by chipping away at my jagged edges and smoothing out the rough areas of my heart. Will I question his love for me? Or, will I continue to pace myself and trust that he will work things out for my good?

I believe I will have a greater appreciation for God whenever I cross that proverbial finish line. Questions will be answered and everything will make sense; I will love him even more because of what he will reveal over time, and I will get to enjoy his company face-to-face.